Tuesday, March 20, 2007

And then there were Two...

Two and a half years ago now John and I graduated from LCU, and moved to Dallas. It was the second time in my whole life that I moved to a different city (the first being to college), and at the same time all of my friends from college were also moving off to begin their careers. It was so exciting to come to Dallas and begin ministry along side my husband but it was also terribly difficult to start over making all new friends.

I am the type of person that although I love knowing and being friends with tons of different people, I always end up finding a comfort zone, a core group of people that I completely bare myself to. That I share my struggles, joys, and everything in between, it is always difficult to find a new core in a new city. In college it was easy, everyone was looking for new friends, and there I found more then I could have ever imagined that were more dear and precious to me then any I had had before. But moving to Dallas, I am an adult now (supposedly) and adults are too busy to be searching out new friends or to spend much time building relationships. So I prayed and prayed, and I had my friends that had moved away pray for me, and God heard my prayer.

I become accountability partners with three other women, which shared my faith, my age, and my desire to have close friends. It was a bigger blessing then I had even imagined. And I could go on and on about how great it was, but I will move one because there is still more. It is now two years later, back in August one of the girls moved to Fort Worth and though she is not far it was still a goodbye because we would not be seeing her three times or more a week anymore. And so our group was down to three. And now we have come to know that at the end of this month we be saying goodbye to another one from our group. Lesli will be moving to Elizabeth Town, KY. And I know she will hate it that I even wrote about this, but I do it not to make her feel bad or sad but to let her know the amazing answer to a huge prayer that I had so many others pray for.

And now there will be two, and don’t worry its not oh poor Crysty, because I have John, I have my amazing family within 30 minutes of me, I still have Summer, and most importantly I believe. I have already seen though how hard I am going to have to try to keep my heart open though, just last week the newly marrieds class had a big get together because there are so many new members in the class. Sure enough, since we spend all of our time with the youth group when at church we only knew a hand full of the 32 people that were there, and I caught myself thinking…why, why even open up to any of these people because they will just be gone in another two years pursuing their dreams and careers somewhere else. But when I think of all of the joy that I had the past two years I remember that it is worth it, to meet and say goodbye it is all the in between that is wonderful. Sorry this is soooo long, how do you cope with saying goodbye and making new friends? Picture above is Summer, me, and Lesli.


summer said...

i may come across alot stronger than i am right now, because if i let myself go, its really hard to reel myself in. i am so glad i have you, crysty. and, i, too, have struggled with letting people in because of fear that i will have to say good bye sometime. maybe i can learn from you how to embrace new people and to let down my guard. i am praying i can do this. love you so much!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I know what you mean....saying good-bye to good friends is tough!! It was tough when we all moved away from LCU, but I'm glad that we've continued our friendship. I am kind of fearing that we might have to move once Luke finishes school and I don't know how I would say bye to all of the people we have grown to love here!! I will be praying that God provides you with some wonderful new friends in Dallas! Love you-Traci

Lesli said...

That is very true. Any friends I make from here on out have very big shoes to fill--well, no, there will be no filling of your shoes because you're still in them & will continue to fill them. ;-) The expectations, though, will be very high. I love you & we will keep in touch no matter the distance! PROMISE!

Lynsey said...

I'm sad for you. There are no easy answers or solutions, I don't think. I've struggled with this for the last year or so, too, and I think it just takes time. Maybe you can get on a really good long distance phone plan. ;)

Vicki said...

Thank you for being such a good friend to my daughter. She has benefitted from her friendship with you and Summer and is struggling with the separation of distance. Notice I did not say that she was leaving - only changing locations physically. You will always have her in your heart and on your blogs!
Lesli's mom

janjanmom said...

It was so good to meet you and I am so happy you and Summer are still 2. Friendship is always bittersweet-some people come along for a lifetime and others only for a season. It is hard to know which is which but it is always worth it. In my 35 years I have seen friends come and go and friends come and stay. It is always a blessing and in this age of technology, you are never far apart.

Janice Eicholtz

Neena said...

I feel the same way as you do. I always end up looking for that core group of friends like we had in college. It is very difficult to find that. I'm so glad you found that and have such great friends. It will be hard to have one of them move, but I have a feeling from reading this that ya'll will stay in contact. You are good about staying in contact.
Love ya